"for months oberon there wasnt much contact"
I wouldn't expect a lot of people to start searching for you immediately. Worry builds up over time.
1st week: might not even think of the person, 2nd week: I wonder if I missed Jon around somewhere...oh well I'll catch him soon, 3rd week: I wonder where Jon has gone off too, it doesn't seem like I've seen him around...hmm..., 4th week: it is weird that Jon's been gone the past few weeks, maybe I should ask around and see if anybody else knows anything.
And then our dear brother start asking around for information, putting it into other peoples' minds that Jon is gone, making them curious in turn, and the rumors just kind of build up until you end up with a wave of phone calls and random visits asking if you are alright.
But that is all just simple human nature. I would not personally read too much maliciousness into it, but then again I don't allow hatred and paranoia into my heart, even if I don't agree with a group on doctrinal issues.
" Youre assuming i am cruel or hirting them when you have no idea how they are feeling nor are you fully aware."
The difference is, I do not pretend to be anything other than what I really am. I am honest with myself and with others. I accept that I am cruel and cold by nature. And if somebody were to ask me why I don't attend meetings or hang out with other Witnesses, I would tell them the truth: I do not get anything out of the meetings and I do not like being around people. Hang around me at your own risk and do not expect me to get attached.
That is called being up front, not giving false expectations. People who know me know exactly what to expect and what not to expect, so there are relatively few hurt feelings.
But I simply could not imagine 'leading people on' like you claim to do -- letting them think that everything is just fine and dandy when it is really not. It only sets them up for even worse pain down the road when they finally realize that you were just 'pretending' the entire time. Surely that is far more cruel.